Knight Rider slash - Knight/KITT

[roadstergal.livejournal.com]

Title: Auto Erotica, part 3 of 4.
Fandom: Knight Rider.
Rating: R.
Commentary/criticism: Welcome. roadstergal@gmail.com
Timing: Season III.
Notes: Part 1, Part 2. Crit is always welcome.

KITT had no particular love of parking lots. He found them depressing. Once, before he knew how unique he was, he had tried to strike up a conversation in one, and had been quite startled to find that none of the cars would speak to him. At first he thought it had been snobbishness, but when he found out that none of them were sentient, parking lots became downright eerie. He had tried to explain the feeling to Michael. "Imagine," he had told the man, "sitting in a lot full of men and women, all of whom are sitting with their mouths half-open, unable to speak, completely brain-dead, waiting for someone to come and deal with them. Wouldn't you find that depressing?"

Michael had sympathized, but in the end had told KITT he was just going to have to get used to it. KITT sighed. He noted the smooth, sweeping lines and sweet exhaust note of a red Ferrari that passed by, but knowing that she had no mind - well, it was positively perverse. KITT deleted those depressing thoughts from his RAM, pulled up a book from his database, and settled down to read. Michael had been invited to a party at the Army base by grateful higher-ups who had been pleased to recover their weaponry; Michael was no doubt going to be spending a good amount of time there. KITT would not be surprised to find his passenger seat occupied by a female of the species later, for Michael to take back home and engage in some of that non-reproductive reproductive activity with.

A note sounded in the back of KITT's mind before he had exhausted his onboard stock of reading material; Michael's com-link had moved out of the building and was heading in his direction. KITT noted the position of his book in RAM and put it back into disk storage. Michael came towards him, weaving as if to avoid road hazards that did not exist. As he came closer, the airborne particulate analyzer that served as KITT's sense of smell noted ethanol in Michael's exhalations. KITT came to the reasonable conclusion that his partner was inebriated.

Michael fumbled at the door, finally getting it open, and flopped into the driver's seat. "Sorry I couldn't invite you in, KITT! But..." he laughed, "I don't think it would have worked out well. You can't reach the punch bowl, for one!" He laughed more, as if it had been a far better joke than it was.

"It's just as well that I can't, Michael," KITT replied tartly, "as it looks like I'll be responsible for driving you home.'

Michael shook his head. "Aw - I've only had a drink or two. Or three. Or maybe," he paused, "fifteen."

KITT took the tartness out of his voice. Michael had little enough chance to just enjoy himself, away from FLAG business, after all. "Just close the door, Michael - please?"

Michael has some trouble closing the door. "Dija redesign your door, KITT? I think you... changed... where the handle is, KITT." The door finally swung shut. "Just to mess with me. I would... get mad... if you didn't have such a lovely voice."

KITT was quite startled. "I have a lovely voice?" Certainly, KITT had always thought so. But it was intriguing to hear that Michael thought so. The man had never expressed interest in male voices before.

Michael leaned back and sighed, then shuffled a bit, flopping on his side, as if attempting to fit his lanky frame comfortably into the bolstered bucket seat. KITT gave that endeavor a 23% chance of success. "Yeah. Speak to me, KITT," he mumbled.

"About what, Michael?" KITT asked, still bemused.

"Anything."

KITT shunted dormant processing power over to address this request. Michael typically only asked for very specific information from KITT. Rarely did he leave his requests so open-ended, and KITT was unsure what the expectation was. He therefore felt an urge to make his input interesting. Memorable. "Well... you don't seem to be in the mood for jokes." Not that those had ever worked well with Michael. "Would you like a nice story?"

Michael mumbled, "Yes, anything..." He closed his eyes, sighed, and moved a little more, as if still uncomfortable.

"Well, erm... oh dear, what story is appropriate for this situation..." KITT furiously searched his databanks. In the popular culture he had investigated, he had noted that the stories that were most often exchanged between those who were emotionally close were confidences - personal stories that revealed a vulnerability of some kind. That seemed appropriate, and KITT certainly had such a tale. "Perhaps the story of the first time I was ever driven?" No objection came from the driver's seat. KITT refreshed the memory, scanning it. "Bonnie drove me. I had never had anybody in me before. I know it's what I'm designed for, but it was... interesting. A turning point, of sorts." KITT pored over the memory, the inevitable comparison coming to his mind. "She drives very differently from you, Michael. She has a light touch, a very gentle touch." KITT realized the inadvertent implication of his words, and hastily added, "Not that I don't like the way you drive! She drives differently, not better." KITT went back to the main thrust of the tale. "It was just a little run around the test track at the headquarters. You know it." They had driven it many times. "We did the test, and she was so... encouraging. 'You're doing so well, KITT,' she said. We did one dry run, and then the test. Men with stopwatches were there, monitoring my performance. It's nothing now, no, but at the time - it was the first time I had ever done that!" KITT scanned Michael. His eyes were closed, but tension in his facial muscles indicated that he was paying attention. KITT moved on to the bit that he had not told anyone, not even Bonnie. "I was a little - well, truth be told, Michael, I was a little nervous."

Michael laughed lazily, his eyes still closed. KITT wondered if he were being made fun of. Well, it would hardly be the first time, and he might as well finish. "But she took me through. I exceeded expectations, they told me." KITT paused, analyzing the numbers of that run. "It is odd, though - I've run that test with you many times since then, and you always break that time. You're a much wilder driver. You have a completely different style. I have to admit that I enjoy your touch. It's just not the same without you in the driver's seat."

In a sleepy mumble, Michael muttered, "I like it, too, KITT. It's... in... tense." It was not that KITT did not know this already. Hardly! The man whooped and hollered like a young proto-human on a rollercoaster whenever they went out. But it was rather... pleasing, KITT decided, to hear it stated outright. "And you have a shexy voice," Michael continued. "Tell me.... tell me that you like me in you." For no reason that KITT could fathom, Michael giggled.

"Well - that's certainly true, Michael. I enjoy having you inside of me." KITT's voice modulators kicked in to simulate aurally the bafflement he felt. Hadn't he just said that?

With another giggle, and a sleepy groan as he rubbed against the seat, shifting, Michael said, "Oh... I like to hear that."

KITT was becoming a little worried at the increasingly obvious physical signs of inebriation that Michael was evidencing. Judgment was the first thing that alcohol consumption affected, and Michael had precious little of that commodity to start with. "I should get you home. You're rather inebriated. My body scanner tells me that your BAC is 0.083%."

"Mmm.. yes, take me hoooome..." Michael groaned, rubbing against the seat as he shifted again.

"Well - I certainly will. Don't try to drive. I'll recline the seat. Sleep a little." KITT suited action to word. The seat would be slightly more amenable to a good nap in that position, he decided.

"Mmmm. Yes, recl... recl... lie the seat down." Michael stretched out with a sigh. KITT started the car, and Michael's smile widened as the V-8's rumble vibrated the car gently back and forth. He kissed the seat, saying, "Lovely..."

KITT sighed at this alcohol-induced irrationality. "Yes, it's genuine cowhide, so don't lick it, Michael. That's not sanitary."

"You're sexy when you're fussy." Michael kissed the seat again, moving on it as if in a trance. KITT had no idea how to make the seat more comfortable than it was, however, so he would just have to let the man deal with it. However, the way that Michael was shifting caused a stray bit to suggest to KITT that something other than discomfort was involved in the motions, and he could not deny the rationality of the new explanation.

"The books never said anything about this," KITT muttered to himself. Then again, no maker of erotic works had found reason to consider a sentient robotic automobile. KITT put in an extra kick of speed as they flew down the freeway. Michael seemed to rather enjoy the speed, increasing the actions that KITT could no longer think were just tossing to find a more comfortable seating position.

After a few minutes, Michael sighed a long-drawn-out-sigh and snored slightly. KITT pondered possibilities; his seats were not made for sleeping, after all, and although he could eject Michael, he would have to do some interesting driving indeed to eject him onto a comfortable sleeping surface. Fortunately, data ports were still up and running at the mansion; Bonnie was working late. KITT patched into one of them. "Bonnie - perhaps you could come retrieve Sleeping Beauty from my driver's seat? He will never forgive me the crick in his neck if he stays there all night."

"Oh, what's he done this time..." Bonnie did not wait for a reply, to KITT's relief. She put down her work with an exaggerated sigh and ran out to the car.

Michael was still awake, or Bonnie would not have been able to pull him out; as it was, it took quite a bit of yanking and grumbling and jammed knuckles and knees on the part of both humans. Michael finally emerged from the car, half-draped around Bonnie. "'Night, sleep tight..." he muttered, leaning heavily on FLAG's long-suffering electronics expert.

"I don't sleep," KITT said - but he said it very, very quietly, watching Bonnie and Michael make their way towards the door. At that moment, he was very grateful that he did not sleep. He had a number of things to process, and even a sleepless night at full processing power might not suffice.

Comments

[green-wing.livejournal.com]

*giggle* ok, drunken horny michael was absolutely adorable, and poor confused KITT *heee* he dealt with it so admirably :D

this was great, so much fun to read but oh boy, michael's gonna be feeling it the next day ;)

can't wait for the next part :P