rareslash | Operation Normal (The Big Bang Theory, G)

Title: Operation Normal
Author: adoraberry
Fandom: The Big Bang Theory
Rating: G
Pairings/Characters: Leonard/Sheldon Sheldon/Leonard
Warnings: None
Notes/Disclaimers/Summary: Sheldon realizes he isn't normal, and devises an experiment to test his hypothesis. Almost preslash, it's so innocent. ~~If there's enough interest, I might create a community solely for The Big Bang Theory slash. (Hey, it worked for me once before...)~~ Wow, more comments than I expected. I created a slash community for us, bigslashtheory, in the hopes that maybe it will actually get some use.

Sheldon was sleeping on the couch when Leonard came home. He lifted his head, blinked twice, and relaxed his legs from their cramped position against his chest. Leonard was looking through a small handful of mail, walking absently towards the couch.

“I sincerely hope you aren't going to leave those on the coffee table,” Sheldon said after a long moment of silence. “The designated spot for mail is designated for a reason.”

Leonard looked up, half-smiling and holding up one of the letters. “No, I was just looking. The mailman actually did give us one of Penny's letters this time.”

“Oh good. Now you can force yourself on her with a clear conscience.” Sheldon pulled his legs back up and laid his head down on them again.

“I don't force-” Leonard cut off, and when Sheldon opened his eyes he found the other man looking at him strangely. “Have you been sleeping there?”

“Yes.”

“Sheldon.” Leonard's eyebrows were alarmingly crinkled. “Why?”

“I have been <i>thinking</i>,” Sheldon said, readjusting so his chin rested in the small dip between his knees.

“You're always thinking,” Leonard said, carefully placing the mail in its designated spot and coming to sit on the middle cushion, just beside Sheldon.

“It is impossible for me to forbid my neurons from firing, yes,” Sheldon said, gazing thoughtfully at the dark tv. “However, I've come to realize that I am not a normal person.”

“Um, no.” Leonard's eyebrows were now several centimeters higher than normal.

“In fact, I would dare to say that I am fairly abnormal.”

“That's not necessarily a bad thing-” Leonard began uncertainly.

“To the contrary!” Sheldon said, dropping his feet to the floor. “I'm the Doctor-”

“Oh no, not this again,” Leonard groaned. “For the last time, Sheldon, you can't make a TARDIS-”

“Not literally!” Sheldon said, gripping Leonard hard on the shoulder and staring him straight in the eye. “I am speaking figuratively. I am the last of my kind, a Timelord pacing through time and space, alone, different.”

“Sheldon,” Leonard said weakly.

Sheldon pulled his hand away quickly and leaned back against the couch, tilting his head up and making pictures in the popcorn texture of the ceiling. A butterfly. The Linux penguin. Spock. “I don't mind it though.”

“Then why are you having a minor breakdown on our couch?”

“Not a breakdown, no. Just an experiment.”

“An experiment.”

“If we treat as fact that normal human beings sleep on the couch sometimes, and my theory is that I am an abnormal human being, then my hypothesis is that I will be unable to sleep prone on the couch in comfort.”

“And?” The couch shifted and Leonard's face swung into view. “Your conclusion?”

“The experiment was a failure. I was unable to stay in any position other than in my normal spot, thus my upright position when you entered the room. I managed the sleeping, but the conditions of the experiment weren't met and the entire experiment will have to be reformulated to extract any real meaning.”

Leonard disappeared from view. Sheldon thought he saw K-9 in the popcorn, but was distracted by a hand on his arm, tugging gently. He lifted his head from the back of the couch, frowning at the smooth fingers on his upper arm. He looked at Leonard's face then at the hand again. “What, exactly, are you doing.”

“Helping you. Come on, lay down.”

“I did not specify that the subject was to receive any assistance.”

“You're going to have to reconstruct the experiment anyway, aren't you?” Leonard wheedled. “Come on, just do it.”

Sheldon relented, letting the small pressure on his arm guide him down. He ended up on his back, head on one throw pillow and feet hanging over the opposite arm of the couch. Any future experiments would need a larger couch, he decided. It was doubtful that many normal human beings slept on couches that cut off the circulation to their toes.

“Stop thinking,” Leonard said. “Just relax.”

“I already told you, I can't stop my neurons-”

“From firing, right.” A hand came down over his eyes, forcing his eyelids to close against the sudden approach.

“Hey!”

“Relax,” Leonard insisted. “Let's just try a little meditation. It worked for Buddha, it can work for you. Omm. Say it with me, Sheldon. Omm.”

Sheldon omm'ed. They omm'ed together for several minutes. Neurons continued to fire.

“I don't think it's working, Leonard,” Sheldon said. “I'm still thinking.”

“Okay. Change of tactics. Don't freak out, ok?”

Sheldon felt a soft touch on his temple and stiffened slightly. Two fingers swept slowly down his face, then back up again.

“Leonard?”

“Sh.”

“Leonard, I think this would fall under the category of hypnosis, not meditation. I'm not sure the parameters of-”

“Sh!”

“Okay.”

Sheldon concentrated on stilling his mind. No thoughts. No thoughts. You are getting sleepy, ver-r-ry sleepy. Leonard's fingers brushed over his eyelids and down, barely touching his lips. A fingertip tracing his cheekbones, around the ridge of his eye sockets, across the groove between his lips. The fingers pulled away, but he could still feel them hovering just centimeters above his skin. His lips tingled strangely with the sensation.

“Leonard,” he said, and his lips brushed against skin when he spoke. It disappeared and he opened his eyes, looking to his right and meeting Leonard's gaze. “This is getting kind of strange now.”

“Yeah,” Leonard said shakily, his right hand falling from its float in the air and coming to rest against Sheldon's left shoulder. “Strange. Yeah.” His fingers curled slightly in Sheldon's shirt.

“What-”

“Leonard! Sheldon!” A girlish voice called through the door, followed by a soft but urgent knocking. “You guys? Are you in there?”

“Penny!” Leonard said, jumping to his feet and moving quickly towards the door. Sheldon sat up slowly, feeling strange and uncertain as to what had happened. Leonard swung the door open on an anxious Penny.

“You guys didn't get any of my mail, did you?” she asked, pushing past Leonard and heading straight for the designated mail spot.

“Yeah, actually, we did,” Leonard said, trailing uselessly after her. “That, uh, mailman did it again, haha...”

Sheldon got to his feet, rubbing the back of his hand across his lips. He straightened the throw pillows then quietly headed to his bedroom.

Status of Operation Normal : failure. Suggested improvements : do not repeat.