rareslash | Big Fandom, Rare Pairing? Hellsing: Walter/Pip

At least I'm pretty sure I'm the first with this one. (Confession: someone dared me. I like it anyway.)

Crossposted to yaoi and unusual_liasons.

[Bad username or unknown identity: :  Old!Dark!Walter, slight bondage and slight non-con]

Warning

Pip was attempting to write another letter home. But it was still too hard to put the whole thing into words. Vampires, ghouls, Nazis, coffins... none of it made sense.

He heard a knock on the door then, and a voice. "Captain Bernadette?"

"Sinister old butlers. Damn, forgot them," Pip shoved the letter in his desk.

"What the hell do you want?" he asked out loud.

Walter pushed the door open.

"I may not be your superior officer, Bernadette, but you will treat me with respect."

"You're nobody's superior officer," muttered Pip. "What are you here after, anyway?"

Walter walked further into the room uninvited and crossed his arms over his chest.

"I believe your attentions to the female Hellsing officers are vulgar in the extreme, Mr. ..."

"Captain. And that vampire's the only female you've got."

"Precisely, Captain." Just the right edge of sarcasm tinged the last note.

"She can stick up for herself."

"Oh, she most certainly can. But she's quite young and innocent, you know. After all, only a virgin can become a vampire."

Pip grinned. "Guess that leaves me out then."

"Also myself," murmured Walter. "For some time now. But that is not my point."

"So what is your point? You've got a lot of nerve. You're just some old pervert. Probably want Seras for yourself."

"I'm warning you... Pip. Vampires may be not be as eager to give up their long-held virginity as you would like. Nor do they make good sex partners. I suggest you back off. For your own good."

"And you know this how?"

"Never you mind that."

Pip was growing angry now, and pushing close to Walter, trying to back him against the wall. "Oh I get it now. You're a dirty old man all right. With a vampire fetish of a whole different kind."

Walter's eyes narrowed. "Shut up."

"I've seen that picture, in the living room, that's you during the war. He didn't like you so much anymore when you lost your looks, did he?"

Walter grabbed Pip by the braid and pulled. Pip was surprised and buckled at the knees, ending in a kneeling position on the floor. The butler stood over him and stared down into his face.

"Listen to me, you ignorant little sod. Vampires want fresh human blood, not love or anything else. Play your little games all you want but don't say I didn't warn you."

"Get your hands off me... It's her not him, so why do you even..."

Suddenly Walter kicked his Pip's legs out from under him. Pip tried to turn over and get up but Walter pushed him down by the shoulders and straddled his chest.

"You are finally exceeding my tolerance!"

Pip struggled under the weight on his torso and stared into the vibrant green eyes above him. Writing this man off as a decrepit old butler had been a serious mistake for any number of highly disturbing reasons.

There was a moment of silence and breathing, then Pip grabbed for Walter's neck and tried once more to throw him off. But not only was he unsuccessful, suddenly the butler was leaning over him and the Captain's arms were pinned above his head. It was then he felt the press of smooth metal around his wrists.

Walter's face was nearly touching his now. "If you move, you'll bleed. I don't suggest it."

"You sick kinky bastard."

"Indeed. But I will of course let you go. I'm not that... kinky was the word you used?"

This was the least funny thing that had ever happened to him, but Pip started laughing anyway as the wires were released. It was then that Walter leaned down and kissed him, forcing his tongue into Pip's mouth. He couldn't think, and only sat wide-eyed as the other man finally broke it off and lifted his head.

"Something to remember me by. When you think again to call me names."

Walter jumped up abruptly then.

"You've learned nothing. And you will be hurt, somehow, by one of us, if you continue on."

He left, slamming the door.

Pip stared into the mirror, wondering what had actually happened. And which one of them it would be.