rareslash | It's alright, cause...

Title: Golden Boy
Fandom: Saved by the Bell (ah, why not?)
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Some het, some angst, I can't decide whether I wrote this as a parody!

Zack means something to everyone, and nothing to himself. Series of semi-connected vignettes. Finished? I think so. Not sure.

Weird

“Come on, Screech, I can’t do this without you!”
He can’t, and Screech knows it. Zack comes up with the ideas, he sells them, but he doesn’t do the work. Screech can print up fake report cards easily. It’s not right, Screech knows this, too. He would never hide a bad grade from his parents, if he had any. Still, he won’t refuse.
“I need you,” Zack says, and that’s what Screech needs to get by.

Sometimes it’s not enough. Sometimes Screech has to lose himself in books and conspiracy theories and equations. He builds a wall of useless knowledge around him, puts his real name away in a drawer, and becomes Screech. They feel sorry for him, “the gang,” because he’s weird. They don’t know how much easier it is to be weird than to face normal.
They all hide, really; Lisa behind her makeup, Jessie behind her causes, Slater under his muscles, and Zack behind…well, Zack. Kelly doesn’t hide. She’s honest. That’s why they all want her, and that’s why she scares the crap out of Screech.

“How do you spell that?” Screech asks, rubbing his eyes and focusing on the computer screen.
“Z-A-M-O-R-S-K-I,” Zack repeats, tossing a baseball against the wall.
This may be Screech’s least favorite noise.
“Hang in there, buddy, this is our last one!” Zack drops the ball and squeezes Screech’s shoulders.
“Right, right, any special requests?”
“Uhhh,” Zack runs back to his notebook. “He says he wants nothing higher than a B in Latin, because his parents won’t buy it.”
“Do you realize how greatly I am compromising my morals here?”
“Screech, buddy, pal,” Zack turns on the charm. “Think of how greatly we will profit from our venture!”
Printed. Done.
“How are you planning to spend your share?” Screech asks.
Zack shrugs, “I don’t know.”
“Then why? For God’s sake, why am I up at 4:00 AM making fake report cards?”
Zack did not expect this.
“Calm down,” he says. “What’s the big deal?”
“Do you just get a kick out of this? Do you enjoy fucking with my head?”
“Since when do you swear?” Zack replies quietly.
Screech slumps back in his chair. This is why he doesn’t try. It’s too exhausting. Zack thinks for a minute, then kneels down by Screech’s desk.
“I don’t know why I do this. It’s just what I do. I’m Zack, you know?”
“And I’m Zack’s friend.”
“No! No. You’re you. You’re Screech.”
“Trust me, being Zack’s friend is better.”
“I treat you like crap!”
Screech laughs at the honesty.
“But,” Zack continues. “You are my friend, because I like hanging out with you.”
“Why? I’m a loser.”
“Only because you act like yourself.”
“Gee, thanks,” Screech leaves the computer and heads to his iguana, Stacey.
Zack grabs his arm, “I didn’t mean that like it sounded. It’s just that…you don’t care what other people think about you. That’s cool.”
Screech stares at him, incredulous.
“Zack, I am terrified of what other people think.”
Something crosses over Zack’s face that looks suspiciously like understanding.
“I…am so sorry,” he says, and it’s not for just tonight.
No, Screech thinks. He doesn’t understand, he just feels guilty.
“Get those report cards. I worked hard on them.”
Zack doesn’t let go of Screech’s arm.
“Thank you,” he says.
Zack kisses the side of Screech’s face and takes the papers and leaves. Screech feeds Stacey and crawls into bed, knowing he won’t sleep.
It’s pity, Screech knows, but it’s enough.

Some Girls Do

Lisa promised not to tell, but she did ask a lot of questions. The one that bothered Zack the most was, “Why?”

“I don’t know,” he answered.
Lisa raised her perfectly shaped eyebrows.
“You don’t know,” she repeated. “Or you don’t want to tell me?”
Zack shrugged, exasperated, “Both! Can we just drop it?”
“Zack, if you found, say, Jessie and I in the throes of lesbian passion-”
“Shhh!” Zack looked frantically around the Max.
“Wouldn’t you demand answers?”
“That would be different.”
“How?”
“Well, for one thing, I’d think that were hot.”
“Who says that I don’t?” Lisa interrupted casually, taking a sip of her milkshake.
Zack stared at her in disbelief.
“Girls don’t think that’s hot.”
“Some girls do,” Lisa shrugged, her dark curls jumping. “So, I take it you haven’t completely crossed over.”
“Hell no. Me, give up girls?”
“And so, again, I raise the question: why?”
Zack leaned back into the booth’s seat. This was torture. Why did he always have to be interrogated? Who knows why he does anything?
“I don’t have a reason.”
“Make one up.”
“Why do you care?”
“I just do!”
People were beginning to stare. Zack flashed a smile and laughed before bringing his face close to Lisa’s and whispering loudly.
“I. Don’t. Know. It just happens sometimes.”
“Sometimes? As in, more than once?”
“Yeah, more than once,” Zack admitted, nibbling dejectedly at a French fry.
“Wow,” Lisa’s eyes were wide as plates. “Have you…” she checked around for eavesdroppers. “You know. Have you?”
Zack rested his forehead in his hands and sighed. Why was he telling her this?
“Yes.”
He looked up, surprised, when Lisa giggled and bounced in her seat.
“Oh my god, oh my god! Who’s on top? I mean, Slater’s buff, but you’re…I don’t know, you’re you.”
“For fuck’s sake, Lisa, do I have to give you the play-by-play?”
Lisa looked away and drank her shake. Zack felt lousy for yelling at her, but things were getting ridiculous, and the last thing he needed was everyone at the Max hearing more of this.
“No,” she finally answered. “But I thought you might want someone to listen. I know I would. I also think you should figure out why you’re doing this, even if it scares you, because,” her voice was shaky. “It will probably make you feel better, and then maybe you’ll stop acting like a total jerk for a little while.”
Zack watched her count out three dollars and leave it on the table, picking up her designer bag and smoothing her purple suede skirt.
“Don’t be ashamed,” she said, and it was more like a plea.
Zack waited for her to speak again, but instead she turned and left.

Things That Should Be, But Aren’t

Jessie wants to be a lesbian. She wants to, because it fits. Jessie can’t stand the attitudes of all the men she knows. Jessie believes in revolutionary feminism. Jessie thinks she should be a lesbian, but she’s not. She loves Slater. It makes her kind of sick, because, deep down, she knows that she loves him, not in spite of his failings and prejudices, but because of them. She loves being treated like something delicate and soft, because everyone else sees her as a raw-edged, dangerous thing.
Well, almost everyone.
Lisa loves Jessie. Lisa takes her shopping when she feels low and makes her try on dresses that make her shoulders look big and Lisa lies and tells Jessie she looks like an Amazon princess. Lisa is the real princess. If Kelly is the quintessential girl next door, then Lisa is the ultimate exotic beauty. Still, Jessie criticizes her every move as somehow perpetuating the male gaze.
Lisa shouldn’t have kissed Jessie. That didn’t make any sense.

“I thought you liked boys,” Jessie protested.
“I do.”

Lisa never asked if Jessie liked girls. She assumed, and why wouldn’t she? Jessie should be a lesbian. She just isn’t. Jessie just loves her best friend enough to kiss her back. She just goes through the motions and thinks of Slater. She’s sure that Slater thinks of her, too.

A Different Fight

Slater snakes his arms around Zack’s waist and kisses the back of his neck.
“Don’t,” Zack shakes him off.
“Excuse me?”
“Just, not today, okay?” Zack pretends to be engrossed in his calculus textbook.
“Did I miss something?”
“No. I’m just…not in the mood.”
“So, you came here to study?” Slater laughs.
“I’m not in the highest of spirits.”
“Yeah, I can tell,” Slater grumbles, sitting with his hand on Zack’s thigh.
Zack eyes the hand disapprovingly and sighs.
“I talked to Lisa.”
“What did she say?”
“She’s thrilled,” Zack rolls his eyes.
“That bad, huh?” Slater bites his lip.
“No, I mean she’s really thrilled. She thinks it’s cute. She kept asking for details.”
“No shit! What did you tell her?”
Zack shrugs and puts his calc book away, “Nothing, really. What’s there to tell?”
Slater isn’t sure how to answer that. He watches Zack walk around his room, examining this or that trophy, peering through the blinds.
“Alright, preppy, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I should probably be getting home-”
Slater runs his hands through Zack’s blonde hair and kisses him. Zack drops his backpack and grabs Slater’s wife beater, pulling him closer. Slater moves to Zack’s neck, enjoying the helpless noises his friend makes. It’s not difficult to direct him back to the bed, where they tangle legs and fight for dominance, as always. Zack digs his fingers into Slater’s back, rubbing desperately against his leg. They never talk (that would invite too much logic), instead Slater takes his cues. For example, Zack’s looking at him, which means he can keep going. If Zack isn’t making eye contact, he’s about to back out.
“Wait.”
There are exceptions to these rules.
“Zack,” Slater whispers, knowing he can’t win.
“I don’t…”
“It feels like you do.”
“No,” Zack whines, sliding out from under Slater and standing on shaky legs. “I want to go home. I want…”
“What?” Slater punches his mattress in frustration. “What do you want?”
“I want to be alone! I want everyone to just leave me alone!”
“I really can’t believe you sometimes. I mean, are you for real?”
“What?” Zack stumbles to his backpack, still flushed.
“Look at me, listen to me. You’re Zack fucking Morris, okay? You’re a legend. As far as Bayside is concerned, the goddamn sun rises and sets on you. I can’t figure out what more it is you want.”
Zack looks around Slater’s room, laden with trophies and ribbons, thinking what Slater knows: in spite of all this, Zack is the golden boy, not him.
“Yeah. Yeah. You know, you’re right!” Zack laughs loudly. “I’m Zack Morris and the world falls into my lap! You know what else falls into my lap? Girls. Lots of them. Enough to keep me busy, if you know what I mean.”
The way Zack says “you” makes Slater clench his jaw.
“Look, preppy, you want to leave? Then you just say so, but I can think of at least one thing all those girls can’t do for you.”
“Well, then, I don’t need it!” Zack pulls on his letterman jacket, smiling that sick fake smile that Slater hates. “I don’t need this, and I definitely don’t need everyone’s bullshit best friend routines, so fuck you and goodbye.”
“You’ve got some issues, man.”
“Tell that to your girlfriend.”
“I’d leave quickly if I were you.”
“I’m already gone.”

The Last Thing

The last thing Lisa wants right now is Zack throwing pebbles at her window and calling for her with a drunken slur in his voice. Lisa isn’t sure what the first thing is, but this definitely is the last. She throws a kimono over her silk slip and runs down the stairs to meet him.
“What the hell are you doing?” she scolds.
“Oh, Lisa, thank goodness. I was worried I had the wrong window!”
“Ugh. You reek. Get in here, and be quiet.”
Back in Lisa’s room, Zack collapses on her canopy bed.
“I’m just a little bit drunk,” he confesses.
“Really,” Lisa snaps, pulling her hair into a quick ponytail.
“Slater’s really pissed at me. He might come beat me up! You have to hide me.”
Lisa sits delicately next to Zack. Zack thinks Lisa does everything delicately.
“Did you two fight?”
“Oh yeah.”
“Did you start it?”
“No! I mean, not really.”
“You started it.”
“Did not! I just…finished it.”
“You mean?” Lisa puts her hand on Zack’s shoulder.
“I told him I didn’t need him. I don’t.”
“Oh, Zack, that’s terrible! Slater’s your best friend.”
“We hate each other!” Zack says, gesticulating wildly.
“Well, sure, but…you hate each other like I hate Screech.”
“Are you secretly fucking?”
“Ew! No! Okay, perhaps not the best example, but you know what I mean,” Lisa looks around the room helplessly. “Screech knows that I really care about him. Not like that, but, still…”
“Bull. No one knows anything unless you tell them. Screech thinks we only hang out with him because we feel sorry for him.”
“Did he tell you this?”
“Sure.”
“And what did you say?”
“What should I have said?”
“Jeez, Zack, something! I can’t believe you get away with the things you do.”
“It’s because I’m Zack fucking Morris and the sun rises and sets on me,” Zack recites, cowering from the bedside lamp. “My head hurts.”
“Not as bad as it will tomorrow.”
“Lisa,” Zack suddenly grabs her knee and she stares at him, shocked. “Do you remember what you asked me last Halloween?”
“No,” Lisa lies.
“Sure you do,” Zack smirks. “I remember. Do you want me to tell you?”
“Zack, I was drunk then. I was probably as drunk as you are now.”
“So the offer doesn’t stand?”
“No!”
“I wanted to, you know. The timing was bad, with Kelly and all that, but now-”
“Now the timing is terrible,” Lisa finishes for him, standing up and wrapping her kimono tightly. “You’re going to go sleep on my couch. We’ll talk in the morning.”
“You look really beautiful without all that makeup.”
“No.”
“I mean it! Right now, with your hair all curly like that, you’re so hot.”
“No, Zack.”
“Please, my princess?”
Lisa crosses her arms and turns away, holding back tears. She shakes her head violently as Zack starts massaging her shoulders. He turns and kisses her temple and she breathes in sharply.
“Zack, please go. If you don’t go, I’ll say yes, and I don’t want to.”
“I need you, Lisa.”
Lisa hugs him and her cheeks are wet. Zack unties her kimono and locks his hands around her hips, kissing her roughly.

Does Slater have sex with Jessie? He must, if he’s really trying to keep her in the dark. Does he think of Zack when he does it? Does he do her from behind?

“Zack,” Lisa’s small, but sharp voice brings him back to reality. “Get off of me.”
He slowly realizes what he’s done.
“Get off of me, now.”
He’s still inside her, dazed.
“GET OFF!” she yells, pushing him away and running to the bathroom. “You promised, Zack! You fucking promised me!”
Zack listens to her shower run. He hears Lisa crying over the water.
“Oh my God,” Zack says to no one. “Oh my God.”
He’s buttoning his jeans when Lisa comes out of the bathroom in a towel, pressed up against the opposite wall.
“Leave,” she says.
“Lisa,” he goes towards her. “Oh, God, Lisa, I didn’t mean to, I swear. Oh, God, I’m sorry, I…is there anything I can do?”
“You can go.”
Zack picks up his shirt and leaves. Lisa decides to take another shower.

The Whole Story

“Kelly, I don’t know who else to talk to about this,” Lisa clenches her comforter in her hands.
“Oh, sweetheart, you know I’m here whenever you need me!” Kelly smiles her toothy smile and her eyes twinkle and Lisa half-expects woodland animals to gather.
“I did something really stupid…and now I’m scared.”

“I fucked up. Big time,” Zack throws his baseball against the wall.
Screech winces at the thud.
“What happened?” he asks, switching to crisis control mode.
“You’re really not going to like this. I mean, you are really not going to like this, but I have to tell someone.”
“Slater?”
Zack sighs and lets his head drop back on Screech’s headboard.
“That’s not really an option right now.”
“Did you guys fight?”
“Yeah.”
“Did it come to blows?”
“What are you, sixty? No, it didn’t ‘come to blows,’ but it was bad, really bad. So, then, I went home and got really trashed.”
“I hate it when you drink,” Screech mutters, tinkering with his computer monitor.

“He was really upset about this fight between him and Slater.”
“What are they fighting about now?”
“Oh,” Lisa catches herself. “You know, stupid guy stuff.”
Kelly rolls her eyes and nods.
“Well,” Lisa picks a thread out of her orange comforter. “Fuck. This is hard.”

“Wait, Lisa? My Lisa?”
Zack runs a hand through his hair.
“We had this really good talk the other day and, I don’t know, I thought she’d listen to me again, so, yeah, I went to see her.”
Screech drops his screwdriver. Zack looks at him and then at the carpet.
“What did you do to Lisa?”
“See, I knew you’d react this way.”
“What did you do to her, Zack?”
Screech looks angrier than Zack’s ever seen him, angrier than the night with the report cards, and much angrier than he was at Lisa’s fashion show, when he saw the two of them kissing.
“Jesus, Screech, I didn’t force her or anything. What kind of a monster do you think I am?”
“You don’t want me to answer that. I can be very vivid in my descriptions.”
“We had sex. That’s all,” Zack thinks he might vomit. “Okay, that’s not all…I, well, we, uh, we didn’t exactly use a condom, so, yeah.”

“He promised he’d pull out.”

“I got caught up in the moment you know?”

“I took a shower, and, I don’t know, I just tried to…I mean, what can you do?”

“I didn’t mean to. God, I really didn’t mean to.”

“I’m late.”

Lisa figures that Kelly hasn’t blinked in about two minutes and that this is probably not good for her eyes.
“How could you do that to me?” she finally asks, her voice hoarse.
Lisa’s heart drops down into the basement. She closes her eyes and the tears well up. When she opens them, Kelly’s gone.

Puppy Love Redux

“Screech, what are you doing here?” Lisa peers outside, hoping none of the neighbors see her in a sweatshirt.
“I had to come see you. Zack told me what happened.”
“What?” Lisa squeaks.
“Don’t worry, Lisa, you’re secret’s safe with me.”
“I can’t believe this,” Lisa leans on the doorframe.
“I just wanted to tell you that, no matter what happens, I’ll support you.”
“What are you talking about, idiot?”
“I’ll take responsibility. I’ve already got a job waiting at Tech-Line, if I ever need it. I’ll graduate early and you can stay in school.”
“Screech, do you hear yourself?”
“Loud and clear!” Screech gives Lisa a goofy grin.
“You’d really do all that for me? Even though it’s not yours?”
“Of course.”
“We still wouldn’t be together, you know, not the way you want.”
“I don’t care.”
Lisa pulls the scrunchie from her hair and ruffles her curls, thinking hard.
“I can’t believe this. You’re my best friend right now, do you know that?”
“Thank you, Lisa.”
“I had my period yesterday.”
“Oh!” Screech looks suddenly disoriented. “Oh. Well, that must be a relief.”
“Yeah, it is.”
“Yeah.”
“Well, don’t stand in the doorway, come inside!” Lisa throws up her hands in defeat, laughing. “We’ll have coffee and talk, about what I have no idea. I don’t know anything about aliens or insects. Actually, nix the coffee. I don’t think I need to see you on caffeine.”
“Your wish is my command!”

Time Out

Zack looks over the note for what might be the fiftieth time.

“False alarm,” it says. “L.”

“You’re a free man, Zack Morris,” he tells his reflection. “Now, what kind of trouble will you get yourself in next?”